What is Trauma
Trauma is more than a fleeting emotional wound; it is a deeply ingrained experience that can leave lasting imprints on the body and mind. Renowned trauma expert Dr. Gabor Maté defines trauma as “not what happens to you, but what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.” Trauma isn't just a momentary pain—it rewires how we perceive, react, and navigate the world. (More on rewiring and how NLP can really make a difference)
What is Trauma?
Basically trauma occurs when an individual experiences an overwhelming event or series of events that exceed their ability to cope. This could be anything from a life-threatening incident to emotional neglect in childhood. Traumatic experiences often leave us feeling powerless, unsafe, or disconnected, altering the way we relate to ourselves and others.
How Trauma Affects the Body
Now here is where it gets really interesting. Trauma doesn't just live in the mind—it embeds itself in the body. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, in his book The Body Keeps the Score, explains how the body stores traumatic experiences in the form of tension, pain, and chronic health issues. The brain's fear-processing center, the amygdala, becomes hyperactive, while the rational, calming parts of the brain may struggle to regain control. This creates a state of hyper-vigilance, where the body stays on high alert, ready to react to perceived danger. I don’t want to geek out too much on this because I am trying to keep it at a high altitude so I think I just decided on doing another blog post just on this.
How Trauma Gets Stored and Triggered
When trauma isn't processed, it becomes ‘stuck’ in the body, often hidden from conscious awareness. This can result in patterns of avoidance, hyper-vigilance, or emotional reactivity. Everyday situations—sounds, smells, phrases, or even facial expressions—can act as triggers, pulling someone back into the emotional and physical state of the original trauma. These responses are often unconscious and automatic, making them difficult to identify and address without intentional work.
Trauma and Parenting
Trauma has a profound way of showing up in parenting. Unresolved childhood trauma can influence how we respond to our children, sometimes causing us to unintentionally recreate the patterns we experienced. For instance:
A parent with unresolved emotional neglect may struggle to validate their child’s feelings.
Someone with abandonment trauma may become overly controlling or anxious about their child's independence.
A parent with unprocessed shame may project perfectionism onto their child.
Without awareness and healing, these patterns can ripple into the next generation, perpetuating the cycle of trauma. This is where I shine and my expertise comes in.
Breaking the Cycle
Healing trauma requires a safe, compassionate space to process and release these imprints. Self-parenting—learning to nurture and care for your inner child—can be a transformative practice. By addressing your own wounds, you create a foundation of clarity and strength, allowing you to show up for your children in ways that foster connection, trust, and emotional safety.
When I heard Dr. Gabor Maté emphasize, “When we heal ourselves, we heal generations to come” I had goosebumps for days. By doing the work to process your trauma, you not only free yourself but also set your children on a path of resilience and self-compassion.
Parenting from a place of healing and awareness allows us to break free from cycles of pain and build a legacy of love, strength, and understanding.
Ok If you’ve made it this far ….. I Love You.